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All reviews - Movies (49)

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie review

Posted : 2 years, 11 months ago on 14 September 2014 08:27 (A review of Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie)

"You ever see me play Top Gun? Not a pretty sight."

I have been a huge fan of The Angry Video Game Nerd since pretty much the start. I remember the first video i ever saw from him was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles review from back when he was just the Angry Nintendo Nerd and i have been following him ever since. So i was very excited when i heard he was making a movie based on the character and it was actually gonna have a bit of a budget. It wasn't just gonna be some cheap, no-budget, weekend job like the so called movies from Doug Walker aka The Nostalgia Critic. This was gonna be an actual movie. And it really does feel like one. James Rolfe really knows his stuff when it comes to movie making and he finally get's to show it all off here. Sure, it has some awful green screen effects, but it also uses a lot of practical effects and i loved that. Even if they weren't the best in the world either, it's still a million times better than bad CG.

James himself is a decent actor as well, but his over-the-top mugging to the camera does not work as well on film as it does in his videos. He did manage to get a good supporting cast though. Jeremy Suarez was good as the best friend of the Nerd, but Sarah Glendening was by far the best actor in the movie. She had a lot of charisma and probably did the best line delivery of the movie. The movie also had some fun cameos from bigger names such as Lloyd Kaufman and Eddie Pepitone. Overall, i liked the movie, but it was not as good as the show i feel. It dragged on for a little too long and some of the jokes did fall flat. If you are a fan of the show than the movie is definitely worth checking out, but if you aren't than this is not gonna change your mind. It's definitely for fans only, but i'm okay with that. Now i'm gonna go watch some classic episodes again.


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JCVD review

Posted : 2 years, 11 months ago on 14 September 2014 08:25 (A review of JCVD)

"It's hard for me to judge people and it's hard for them... not to judge me. Easier to blame me. Yeah, something like that."

It's been a while since the last time i watched this so i decided to give it another go today. It still holds up perfectly for me. Jean-Claude Van Damme has always been a childhood hero of mine, but i never in a million years thought he was a good actor. Sure, he could show more emotion than Seagal and was a lot more subtle than Arnold, but i would still not call him a good actor. This movie however changed that forever. He went from The Muscles from Brussels to an award worthy actor over the course of 100 minuets. I still believe one of the biggest Oscar snubs from the last few years was not nominating Jean-Claude Van Damme for best actor. Who would have thought they would ever hear a sentence like that in their life?

There is especially one scene in the movie that most people know of and have seen even if they have not seen the entire movie and that is the monologue he has close to the end of it. A lot of people would not consider that acting since he's pretty much just talking about his own life, but i still think that scene took some serious guts. It's probably the toughest scene this action hero has done in his entire career. You would never see Arnold or Seagal break down in front of a camera like that. Stallone has done it in the past, but i doubt we will ever see it from him again. When i first saw the movie i had no idea that scene was coming so it really sat with me for a long time afterwards. Before that it was a pretty funny dark comedy, but that one took it to a whole new level. But Van Damme is not the only one that is good in the movie. It also has a pretty great supporting cast.

Zinedine Soualem was very good as the main bank robber, but Karim Belkhadra pretty much stole all of his scenes as the die hard Van Damme fan of the crew. He was both hilarious and tragic at the same time and i must admit, his final scene did bring a tear to my eye. There is really only one thing i don't like about the movie and that is the courtroom scene. It's a very minor nitpic, but as a long time van of Van Damme i can't let this one slide. When his wife's lawyer lists all the ways Van Damme has killed people in his movies, he is not actually listing ways Van Damme has killed people in his movies. That always bothered me. Why couldn't they have just done that? It would have taken maybe 10 minutes of research. Hell, you have the guy right there, just ask him. I'm sure he can remember some of the ways he has killed people. But like i said, that is just a very minor nitpic that does not lessen my enjoyment of the movie very much. I would say that people who are not fans of Van Damme, but just like good movies with great acting can also enjoy this movie very much. It's not filled with inside jokes, but there are a few.

If you have not yet checked this one out, it's definitely one i can highly recommend. I really hope Van Damme will continue to stretch his acting chops. He has done a few more movies where he could do that after this, but none of them were on this level. I want to see more of this from him.


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Cold in July review

Posted : 3 years ago on 13 August 2014 05:54 (A review of Cold in July)

"Count to ten and then one of you step out and get his attention. I'll do the rest."
"10... 9... 8... 7... 6..."
"You're actually counting?"


I have been a huge fan of Michael C. Hall ever since i first started watching Dexter, so when he actually get's to star in movies i try to seek them out. This was a great one for him to start with after the end of Dexter. Almost made me forget how horrible the ending of that show was. But enough about that. This was a very dark and tense thriller that had me hooked from the opening scene. Michael C. Hall gives a great performance as usual and proves that he is ready for a movie career now. The supporting cast were also great. Don Johnson probably gives one of the best performances of his career here. He really proves that he can do more than just be a goofy character in Rodriguez and Tarantino movies these days. Sam Shepard however steals the movie. He definitely deserves an Oscar nomination for his work here. He manages to take his character from someone you hate and fear to someone you root for and feel sorry for seamlessly. And he does most of it without even saying a word. He has very few lines in the movie, but he makes every damn one of them count. But this is not a prefect film.

While the acting all around is top notch and the directing as well, the writing is a little iffy. It has such a great first half that hooks you right away, but the second half feels kind of rushed and like it didn't really know where it wanted to go. I'm gonna go into some mild spoiler territory so if you don't even want to read that then stop here and go watch the movie. It's worth it. But the Michael C. Hall character's motivation for joining up with Sam Shepard and Don Johnson makes very little sense. He really has no stake in what's going on at that point and is just risking his life for two guys he just met. And considering he has a wife and kid at home i didn't really get that. The plot point of whoever was shot at the beginning of the film and why the police were going to such lengths to hide his identity is also just dropped at some point. I was really interested in finding that out, but that get's traded in for a standard revenge type ending instead. So overall this was a good movie, but it unfortunately didn't know how to end. It's definitely still worth checking out though.


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Chef review

Posted : 3 years ago on 10 August 2014 02:21 (A review of Chef)

"What kind of web.site could a 10 year old get on that has bad language?"
"Youtube."
"Youtube has bad language?"


Finally Jon Favreau is back with a good movie again. After a couple of stinkers like Iron Man 2 and Cowboys & Aliens i was starting to lose faith in him, but he proved he still had more good movies in him here. He just needed to go back to his roots as an indie filmmaker and away from Hollywood blockbusters. It's actually kind of like this movie where the chef has to go back to his roots again to become a great chef once again. But anyway, this really was a great little movie. Jon Favreau does not just direct it brilliantly, he also manages to give a great performance. He has always been a good character actor, but i missed seeing him in a leading role again. Swingers is one of my all time favorite movies and that is largely thanks to Jon's great leading man performance.

The rest of the cast was also great here though. Especially Emjay Anthony who played his kid. A lot of the times kid characters in movies can get on my nerves, but he played this one so perfectly that he never did. This is also a movie you should definitely not watch on an empty stomach. That is a very bad idea because this is some of the best food porn i have seen in a long time. Everything in here looks delicious. Hell, i just ate right before turning this on and it still made my stomach growl. This was a great and funny feel-good movie that more people should definitely check out. Jon Favreau is back!


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The Expendables 3 review

Posted : 3 years ago on 8 August 2014 08:08 (A review of The Expendables 3)

"I could do that."
"You wanna slip on a dress and give it a shot?"


Sylvester Stallone has less and less facial hair for each one of these movies. Why is that? Is it a metaphor for something? I just had to get that out of the way because it's been stuck in my head since i first saw the trailer for this. Anyway, this was a little disappointing. After the second Expendables movie took everything from the first one and made it bigger and better i was hoping this one would continue that trend, but apart from the cast everything really does just feel smaller. It seems like the budget for this one was a lot less than the first two. The locations are just so bland and grey all the time i had trouble figuring out where everyone was half the time.

And the action sequences has also been toned down a lot thanks to a ridicules PG-13 rating. Why is this rated PG-13? This is supposed to be a throwback franchise to the great R rated action movies of the 80's and 90's. Not something that is supposed to compete with this decades PG-13 super hero action craze. It really did ruin the movie a lot for he. Jason Statham barely get's to use his knives this time, and when he does it's off screen. There is also no blood whenever someone get's shot. This franchise has always used those awful CG blood squibs before, but even that is better than nothing. You don't get any memorable death scenes here like someone getting a knife kicked into his chest or getting his hear cut to pieces by a plane propeller. Statham has to take out the main henchman by just knocking his head into a wall and even the supposed 'epic' showdown between Sly and Mel Gibson that the entire movie has been building towards is over in about a minute.

Most of the action and fight scenes are also filled with awful shaky cam and quick cuts to hide most of the violence and it just looks awful. That is one of the worst trends in action movies these days and now it has infected this franchise as well. If they had gone with the R rating i'm sure this movie could have had a lot of memorable moments, but this one really didn't have any. I just watched it and i can't think of any part of any action scene that stuck out to me. And the other thing that really dragged this movie down for the was most of the new cast members. Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas and especially Wesley Snipes were all great. Snipes stole all the scenes he were in. But all the new kids just did nothing for me.

Again, this is supposed to be a throwback franchise to the classic action movies and it's action heroes. I don't want to see a bunch of 20 year old kids running around trying to show everyone up. Kellan Lutz was especially annoying. He was trying so hard to be this tough and brooding leader of the new kids and he just looked ridicules. There were hinting towards him taking over the franchise in the future at the end of this movie and if that happens then i'm gonna stop watching. I really wished they had just left all of those kids out of this movie and had just given more screen time to the actual Expendables. That's who people want to see. But even with all of my complaints i did still enjoy the movie. Like i said, when the Expendables themselves are on screen i liked it. Wesley Snipes was definitely the saving grace of this movie. Antonio Banderas was also good, but they could have toned him down a little bit. I get that he's supposed to be annoying, but that does not mean he has to annoy the audience as well. Harrison Ford really just took over the Bruce Willis part, but did a fine job at it.

Mel Gibson did a good job with what little he had to work with. This has to be the smallest amount of time given to any main villain of the franchise so far. That is pretty odd considering this is also the longest movie of the franchise so far. But i guess all those damn kids needed their screen time as well. If not for them and the PG-13 rating this could have been a great movie, but in the end it's just an okay one at best. I feel like i'm being very generous to it by giving it a 6/10 right now, but that might change the more i think about it.


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Guardians of the Galaxy review

Posted : 3 years ago on 6 August 2014 03:43 (A review of Guardians of the Galaxy)

"Metaphors go over his head."
"NOTHING goes over my head!... My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it."


Now this is how you do a fucking summer blockbuster! I have not had this much fun in a theater in a long, long time. Everything about this movie works. The characters, story, humor, and action. Picking a favorite of the main character are impossible. They are all great in their own unique way. Star Lord played by Chris Pratt is definitely the new Han Solo for this generation. A goofy and funny character that can be a total badass when he has to. If Chris Pratt does not become a star after this movie then something is wrong with the world. Zoe Saldana as Gamora is also great. She is as deadly as she is hot. I think i'm in to green chicks now.

Dave Bautista proved that he actually are capable of giving a good performance her as well. Drax the Destroyer had a lot of great moments even if he does something completely stupid in the middle of the movie. But hey, who hasn't done something dumb while being drunk? The dynamic duo of Rocket Raccoon and Groot pretty much stole the movie though. Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel were just perfect for those roles. Even with Vin Diesel pretty much just saying 'I am Groot' for the entire movie, he still manages to give a great performance. Now the only character that didn't really stick out for me was the main villain. He was pretty bland. After great Marvel villains like Loki, Red Skull and The Winder Soldier, he just didn't cut it. I would put him on the level of the bad guys from Thor: The Dark World. A powerful, but unmemorable villain.

But the movie more than makes up for it with it's other character and it's humor. This is definitely the funniest Marvel movie so far, and just one of the funniest movies in general i have seen in a long time. All the characters just play so well of each other and the movie is filled with other hilarious characters as well. The music in the movie is also fantastic. I loved the mix of an epic score with classic 70's and 80's songs like Hooked on a Feeling and Cherry Bomb. It worked surprisingly well. I would not group this in with the rest of the Marvel movies even though it takes place in the same universe. This is not a typical super hero movie, but more of a straight up sci-fi action comedy. I wonder if we will ever see a Guardian/Avengers crossover. That would have been cool, but i'm not sure if it would work.

I'm sure i could go on all night praising this movie, but i will stop here. This is a movie best seen knowing as little as possible about it. I only saw half of a trailer for it before i turned it off. That's all i needed before i knew i had to watch this movie. It is one i will definitely try to watch again in theaters and many, many times again on blu-ray. I can already say that this will be a modern sci-fi classic.


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Ninja II: Shadow of a Tear review

Posted : 3 years ago on 4 August 2014 10:59 (A review of Ninja II: Shadow of a Tear)

"Casey, remember, the man who seeks revenge should dig two graves."
"I'm gonna need a lot more than that."


I don't remember much from the first Ninja movie, but i remember liking it. It was a decent enough movie thanks to Scott Adkins and his incredible martial arts skills, but that was about it. So i didn't really rush out to see this one when it came out. I really should have done that. This was an amazing action movie that blew the first one out of the water. It has some of the best fight scenes i have ever seen from Scott Adkins. That man just continues to impress with each movie. And this movie is filled with fight scenes as well and they are all great. There are barely any slow parts in here. It's not like The Raid though where you never get a break from it, but it's still the majority of the movie.

The story was probably the only downside to the movie. I'm not the kind of guy that watches action movies for their story, but this was so predictable it became boring. Except for a pretty unnecessary plot twist that comes out of nowhere near the end, you can pretty much predict every plot point in the movie from it's start. But like i said, this is a movie you only watch for the fight scenes and the weak story is pretty much just there to string you along to the next one. This is a must see for all martial arts fans and pretty much action fans in general. You don't have to watch the first Ninja to get into this one either. I didn't remember a thing about the story from the first one, but i still understood everything that was going on here. Scott Adkins definitely deserves to be a bigger star than he is. Jason Statham got nothing on his fight skills.


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Edge of Tomorrow review

Posted : 3 years ago on 4 August 2014 10:58 (A review of Edge of Tomorrow)

"What do we do now?"
"I don't know, we've never made it this far before!"


This was a really fun and original sci-fi action movie. Tom Cruise delivers as always, but it's Emily Blunt that is the stand out performance here. I never thought she could play such a badass before. But here she goes full on Ripley from Aliens and looks fantastic doing it. She really steals the movie and makes me wish it would have been more about her than Tom Cruise. The rest of the cast were fine as well. It feel like they were going for an Aliens vibe with the crew of soldiers here as well, but i don't think they ever got to that level of greatness. But i don't think anyone wants to watch this movie for it's acting, but it's action. And damn is it cool. The mech suits that they wear are really awesome and makes for some great and original action sequences.

But the one thing that really sets this movie apart from most sci-fi action film has to be the Groundhog Day style time traveling. I was worried that it would get tiresome after a while, but they mix it up enough so you never get bored of it. And the reason for why it's happening makes sense. Well, as much sense as it could make in a movie like this. The only think i really didn't like about the movie has to be the alien design. They were so bland and boring looking. There were absolutely nothing memorable about them. They reminded me of a mix between Michael Bay's Transformers and the flying squid robots from The Matrix. Why is it so hard for people to create a new and original alien design anymore? I can't think of the last alien design that looked even remotely as cool as the ones in the Alien and Predator movies. Someone needs to fix that and come up with something cool again. It's about damn time now. But this is still a very fun movie to watch.


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Sabotage review

Posted : 3 years ago on 4 August 2014 10:57 (A review of Sabotage )

"You smoke?"
"Only when I find my witnesses nailed to the ceiling."


I'm a huge Arnold Schwarzenegger fan. I have seen pretty much all of his action movies and loved most of them. But after his return to movies in the last few years he has yet to make another great one. This one however is a new low. What the fuck was this shit? I have never seen a movie with a more unlikable gang of heroes before. They are all trying so desperately hard to come off as tough and cool that it just because unbearably cringe worthy. The group also have no chemistry together at all despite supposedly being the best of friends. Their playful banter just comes off as really awkward and the jokes seems like they are written by 10-year old boys that just discovered dick jokes. But then again, this is written by Skip Woods. By far one of the worst writers in Hollywood. How he keeps getting work is beyond me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger himself has never looked so bored in a movie before either. I think he's actually trying to act in this movie, but it's just not working for him. Well, maybe if he was given a better script and director he could pull off a passable performance. He has actually done it before. But no one could make this movie work. You got so many good actors in here like Olivia Williams, Terrence Howard, Josh Holloway, Mireille Enos, and Harold Perrineau. But none of them could do anything to fix this movie. This is not just the worst movie i have seen so far this year, it is one of the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger movies i have ever seen. If he keeps this up then he should have just retired for good after his political career, because the movies he is pumping out now is even worse than that.


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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 review

Posted : 3 years ago on 4 August 2014 10:56 (A review of The Amazing Spider-Man 2)

"I'll be like a god to them."
"A god named Sparkles?"


I have always loved Spider-Man. He was by far my favorite super hero as a child. He was cool, funny, had the best villains and you could relate to him because he was just a regular kid as well. So with all that, why is it so damn hard to Hollywood to make a great Spider-Man movie? They managed to make a great movie for fuckin' Thor, but Spider-Man is a problem? The closest they have gotten so far has to be Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2. Those were pretty good, even if the have not aged to well. Even Spider-Man 3 had it's moments. But for some this new Spider-Man franchise can't even manage to get up to that level.

The first Amazing Spider-Man was just an incredibly boring version of the origin story yet again. It also managed to fuck up one of my favorite villains from my childhood, The Lizard. But this movie actually looked like it could be something good. The Spider-Man suit looked better than it has ever done on film. They thankfully got rid of that awful 'gritty' version of the suit from the first Amazing Spider-Man. And the design for Electro looked pretty good as well. But then i saw what he looked like before he turned into Electro and i just could not take him seriously anymore. Who the fuck thought it was good idea to make him look like a Revenge of the Nerds reject? And then they go and top it all off by giving him the same back story as The Riddler from Batman Forever? Out of all he Batman movies, that one is really not the one you should get your inspiration from. So even Jamie Foxx could not do anything to save that character after all that.

But he's not the only villain in this movie. There is also Dane DeHaan as The Green Goblin and Paul Giamatti as The Rhino. Both of them heavily advertised, but barely in the movie. Dane DeHaan is in it quite a bit as Harry Osborn though. And he does a good job with the material he is given. But The Green Goblin shows up for maybe five minutes before he's taken out an The Rhino was just a cheap marketing ploy. He is just in the movie for a second near the end and does not even fight Spider-Man. So if you were a fan of The Rhino from the comics an went to see this movie looking forward to finally see him battle with Spider-Man on the big screen, then you are just gonna get a big 'fuck you' from Mark Webb and Sony. It's like the looked at all the complaints they got for the lack of Venom in Spider-Man 3 and thought to themselves 'We can top that'.

And speaking of The Rhino, what a horrible fucking redesign he got. Now he's just a huge mech suit that barley resembles a rhino. But at least The Green Goblin looked okay. At least it was better than the Power Rangers suit they used in the first Spider-Man. Spider-Man has so many great villain and they fuck them up time after time. It's just getting depressing. But as much as they fuck up the villains, at least they got Spider-Man himself right. I liked Tobey Maguire, but Andrew Garfield is perfect as Peter Parker. Even if he does look way too old to play a high school student still living with his aunt. It's just sad to see him wasted on these awful movies. When i was watching this i just kept thinking how much better this would have been if it was made by Marvel studios. Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man in The Avengers would have been so much fun. But no. He's stuck doing this garbage. This movie was overly long, incredibly boring, wastes it's characters, and is overall just a bad movie. Spider-Man deserves better than this. He is still my favorite hero in comic form, but not even close when it comes to his movies.


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